


A Series of Fortunate Events

by Musetotheworld



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Gen, I am tired and petty, Multi, anti mon el, cathartic crack, is he enough of a major character to call it major character death?, or is it more getting rid of an annoyance?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-21
Updated: 2017-03-06
Packaged: 2018-09-25 23:27:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9851738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Musetotheworld/pseuds/Musetotheworld
Summary: Kara deserves better than Mon-El. The ladies in her life are going to make sure she doesn't settle for him, one way or another.





	1. Cat Grant, At CatCo, with a Contract Kill

**Author's Note:**

> This came about entirely because I am tired of the writers forcing Mon-El on us. He could be great as a protege or sidekick, but the love interest is too much and he needs to go. And we all know Cat would agree. So, she gets rid of him.

Cat hasn’t been away from National City for that long, but apparently it was too long at the same time. Because as soon as she walks into her building (and it’s still hers no matter how many leaves she goes on) she sees him. Standing just a little too close to Kara, with a look she recognizes on his face.

And oh yes, she knows his type. He’s younger, arguably better looking, but she’d recognize it anywhere. It’s in the way his gaze tracks over passing women seemingly without conscious thought, the way he stands as if he expects Kara to bend for his presence, the way he holds himself as if expecting everyone to be looking. She’s seen it too many times to count. Entitled, arrogant bastards who see women as objects to be won and put on some sheltered, protected shelf. They’re all one and the same.

This one is smiling at Kara, and Cat sees red for a moment. Whoever he is, whatever he wants, she deserves better than this. Better than a man who can’t stop staring at another woman’s ass even while he talks to her. He won’t change for her, not the way she deserves, and even if he does Kara shouldn’t be the one to make him change.

Kara won’t see it that way, of course. She’s too determined to see the good in people. And even if she ultimately realizes what a mistake she’s making, she’s trusting enough that he could hurt her in the meantime. She’ll give him chance after chance, knowing that he could be better, and never think to cut him out of her life until he learns on his own.

Blasted superheroes and their consciences.

It’s as Cat is grumbling to herself about heros that she places the man, and that puts an entirely new spin on things. A superpowered bastard, likely from her home planet or at least somewhere similar, is obviously going to have a draw to Kara. The girl hates change, clings to any reminder of the past, and that means she’ll make even more excuses for him before she finally realizes.

There’s only one way to handle this, obviously.

But Cat still hesitates once she reaches her office, morals weighing with what’s best for Kara. This isn’t the right decision and she knows it. Morality and legality both agree that she’s making the wrong choice here. But Kara will never make the right choice, and Cat doesn’t want to see her hurt because of it. So if it’s a sin, then let it join the stains already on her soul.

Cat looks for an old number she shouldn’t know as she remembers being Kara’s age, remembers just starting out. Another one of those bastards, a senior reporter at the Planet, had taken a shine to her, and no one had stood up to stop him until he’d grabbed Cat’s ass. And even then it had been laughable, a slap on the wrist and an order to stay away from her. And Cat had been too young, too green, to do more than file the complaint. She hadn’t had anyone to stick up for her, not the way Kara does.

So when she finds the number she doesn’t hesitate again. Not with that memory so fresh in her mind. She won’t let Kara be hurt when she can stop it.

It’s always hard to find someone willing to assassinate a superpowered being, especially when you aren’t sure exactly what species they are, but Cat has resources on her side that make it possible. It’ll take time, crossing the galaxy isn’t simple or cheap, but she’s willing to pay for the inconvenience. She just hopes it doesn’t take too long, or Kara will start to get attached and this will hurt more than it needs to.

Once the agreement has been struck and payment transferred, Cat sits back in her chair to think of her next move. It will never come back to her, the payment is thankfully in something far less traceable than currency, but she’ll know.

The temptation is there to comfort Kara when it’s all said and done, but Cat knows she can’t do that. Even if Kara never learns the truth, Cat won’t be able to look at her without thinking about it. And Kara will deserve to have people around her who don’t carry this burden.

No, once this man is gone, Cat will be too. Her leave will become permanent, and she’ll find somewhere other than National City to call home. Let that be her penance for the decision.

As long as Kara is safe from him, it’ll be worth it.


	2. Hologram Alura, in the DEO, with False Information

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even in hologram form Alura wants better for her daughter than a Daxamite suitor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it was pointed out to me on tumblr that I wasn't entirely clear about this particular series of works. They're not connected, not meant to be taken seriously, and are entirely in response to hating the forced heterosexual pairing the writers are inflicting on us. I know they would never happen on the show, and are horribly out of character and our ladies are better than this. I, however, am not. And if the writers can write ooc drivel with poor character consistency, then so can I, right?

Holograms do not have feelings.

Everyone knows that to be true. If they did, Kara wouldn’t feel empty after speaking to her mother. She wouldn’t feel alone or disappointed after every visit. If holograms could feel, could respond to emotions, Kara might still feel a sense of loss, but she would also have a great sense of comfort.

But they couldn’t feel.

Which is why no one thought to keep Mon-El from the new room. While Hologram Alura would spout off anti-Daxamite facts with ease, there was no real ill-will from her. It was just a reaction based on the living memory the AI had been taken from. Not dangerous at all.

What the DEO hadn’t known was there were preservation protocols embedded into every Kryptonian AI. After all, they were most often sent out with explorers and soldiers in need of wisdom. Even without emotions, they were charged with the protection of the Kryptonian race and any Kryptonian in need. And for Alura, that means Kara.

The fact that her programming and memory comes from the mind of Kara’s mother makes that preservation programming much stronger than the average AI, which means that when she sees the Daxamite dare to not only interact with her daughter but show courting behaviors, the protection protocols go into effect.

A Daxamite is not a fitting mate for her daughter. The reasoning programming of the AI understands that Kara might have to settle for a non-Kryptonian partner, but there’s no reason that means she should fall so low as to consider a Daxamite. And while Alura has every faith in her daughter’s wisdom, there’s no leaving this to chance.

It’s a pity that she has no body, no way to take an active role in ridding the galaxy of this potential suitor, but Alura finds a way. When they ask for help understanding how he might react to Earth’s environment, it’s simple enough to feed them false information. After all, the AI has never lied to them before, and has no clear reason to now. It’s only a program after all.

She’s even mostly truthful, despite numerous chances to lie. She has to be clever.

So she tells them that alcohol will have no effect on a Daxamite body. That while they can become inebriated if the beverage is one that has an effect on Daxamite or Kryptonian physiology, the rate of healing will keep any long term ailments from developing.

It sounds perfectly logical. After all, that’s how Kryptonian physiology works on Earth. But Daxamites aren’t Kryptonian, and the differences between them are small but important. What is true for Kara is not for Mon-El. In fact, in this case it’s almost the opposite. Under the power of a yellow sun, the properties of various interplanetary beverages become fatal for Daxamites with extended exposure. More than two or three drinks, and his system would overload on toxins.

It’s not as cruel as Alura could have been. There are any number of very painful deaths she could have engineered for him. That she’d gone with one that’s not only painless but also easily avoidable if he’s different from the rest of his degenerate planet is a sign of mercy, the only one she’ll give him.

She does feel some vague sense of regret when Kara is upset at his death, but holograms don’t have feelings, and her daughter is better off without him.


	3. Agent Vasquez, in the DEO, with the Lead Pipe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Susan Vasquez is usually pretty calm. Until you start messing with the people she cares about.

Susan Vasquez was generally a calm woman. She had to be, working as as DEO agent. Getting worked up over anything was often a waste of energy that could be better spent elsewhere. It was better to keep a calm, level head no matter what the day threw at you.

There were days that tested that, of course. Days in which nothing went right, where containment cells had power fluxes and security codes contained hidden weaknesses that always came up at the worst possible moment. There were days where the world almost ended (far more often than the average citizen realized) and days where it seemed humanity couldn’t possibly prevail. And most of the time, Vasquez had learned to just shrug it off. Deal with the task or issue at hand, and let the rest of the situation turn out how it would.

For three years that had been her motto. Focus on the screens, ignore the drama. And it served her well. Where other agents could be distracted or overwhelmed, Vasquez was an impeccable agent whose attention never wavered.

Lucy Lane, of all people, had changed that when she’d taken over command of the DEO in J’onn’s absence. Suddenly there was something else that Vasquez wanted to focus on, something more appealing than endless views of National City and the surrounding area. Put Lucy Lane on the scene, and suddenly focusing on the job got a lot harder.

Thankfully Lucy seemed to return the sentiments, at least once she was no longer active director. She was still in a command position, but with a clever trick of paperwork, she wasn’t Susan’s direct commander. Technically she worked at the city location and was on loan to the desert base, and as long as she worked at least one shift a month on urban deployment, they were golden.

J’onn knew, of course. Probably even without his telepathic abilities. But after being accepted as J’onn by the DEO agents he’d led for so long as Henshaw, the man seemed to have thawed a little when it came to those he trusted most. They didn’t let it affect their work, and so he turned a blind eye.

And working together worked for them. They knew each other well enough to rely on each other in combat, making for an unparalleled team. There was no question of favoritism because they’d both proven themselves separately before getting together. That, and the entire base knew they were both independently capable of kicking the ass of anyone who tried to make a fuss all while calling it a training exercise.

So really, there were no problems. Things were good. And if Vasquez occasionally let her attention drift from unchanging status readouts to linger on how good Lucy looked in a DEO uniform, what was the harm? She  _ did _ look good.

Most of the DEO agents knew better than to openly agree, thankfully. One incident of Vasquez giving them the staticky comm for the next op cured that problem before it even began. Unfortunately, that story apparently didn’t make it to the visiting alien of the week.

And Vasquez could deal with a lingering stare or two. She could even deal with the flirting, because as soon as it started up Lucy moves to shut it down. And that was all that mattered. Vasquez trusted her girl, after all. And if Mon-El didn’t get the picture, there were ways to get it through his head.

“I’m taken,” Lucy says in a disinterested tone as soon as he makes a vaguely suggestive comment, and Vasquez nods to herself, already planning to bend the rule on displays of affection while on base later. 

“Oh, well maybe they could join? After all, on Daxam we lived by the motto ‘the more the merrier’, which made for some interesting times, if you know what I mean,” Mon-El continues unperturbed, and suddenly Vasquez’s plans shift gears.

She’d thought it was fairly innocent flirting that could be easily shut down, particularly as she’d thought the Daxamite was focused on Kara more than anyone else. But if a flat denial didn’t do anything to even slow him down, that was another thing entirely.

As per DEO regulation, Vasquez was familiar with all of a Mon-El’s strengths and weaknesses on record as a potential DEO asset. Which meant she knew  _ exactly _ how to handle him. And she wouldn’t even have to make it obvious.

A simple tweak of the DEO water filtration system let a mostly unnoticeable amount of lead seep into their water. A human would flush the traces without problem, and even if they didn’t none of the agents on base trusted the water after they’d captured an alien capable of turning pure water into toxic sludge with a single touch. They’d spend half the discretionary budget cleaning up after that mess, and they still swore the taste lingered.

But Mon-El wouldn’t know that. And with a slight change to the climate controls as well, turning down the humidity just enough to be highly uncomfortable to a Daxamite, he’d be gulping down water in no time.

And sure enough, that’s exactly what happened. Before long he’d excused himself from his still constant flirting with Lucy to find the nearest sink, and Vasquez couldn’t hide the smirk on her face as he walked back in with a large glass already half empty. Perfect.

Had it been a slow day, he might have been fine. But when the prisoner transport of a rogue alien had gone sideways and he’d jumped into the fray without thinking, there was nothing to be done. It didn’t help that the alien grabbed a lead case designed to contain any sources of Kryptonite they encountered long enough to get the sample safely out of reach. Even if he’d been fine, not weakened by the lead already in his system, that would have hurt.

But since he was weakened, as soon as the lead casing impacted his chest, that was it. And while Vasquez hadn’t intended for him to die like that, well, she can’t say she’s exactly sorry to see him go either. She’d been hoping for in his sleep, but sometimes you had to take what you could get.

And it was even worth the disapproving looks from J’onn the next time he paid the desert base a visit.


	4. Leslie Willis, in the Warehouse, with an Electric shock

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's not that she wanted to kill him, really. He wasn't worth her time. But sometimes a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.

Leslie’s really getting tired of superhero lite coming after her.

At least with Supergirl there’s a challenge to be had, this dudebro is nothing like difficult to overpower. He doesn’t seem to have a brain, not that Leslie would expect him to know how to use it if he did. In her experience men aren’t usually great with thinking with the larger of their two brains, and this one doesn’t seem much different.

“Not that I mind an easy day, but where’s the caped wonder?” Leslie taunts as she throws him across the room, trying to keep the boredom out of her voice. “She decide you were expendable or something?”

“I didn’t think she should bother with taking you down when I could do it,” he says as he struggles to his feet, and Leslie can’t hold back a sigh.

“Yeah, and how’s that working for you?” she asks, already tired of this charade.

“Just need to get into the groove,” he throws out as he swings at her, and Leslie ducks with only the barest amount of effort. She really is tired of this.

She could make a break for it, zap her way into the electrical current she feels tingling above and behind her and disappear without a trace. It’s probably the easiest thing to do at this point. This fool isn’t worth her time, not when there’s so many more fun things she could be doing instead. Standing around watching him swing isn’t anywhere on her list of a good time.

“Just give up,” Leslie says as she ducks another blow. At least Supergirl can land a punch. “Really, who taught you to fight, your grandma? She’s probably better at punching than you are. You’re pathetic, pretending to be a hero when you’re not.”

That makes him mad, all right. And if anything, he’s less accurate now. Not that Leslie’s surprised at that, men are so easily riled up and so very quick to throw reason out the window.

But really, there’s only so much of this she can be expected to take. And she had given him the chance to back off. Plus she’s a supervillain, bad deeds are kind of in her MO.

So she shocks him.

There’s no holding back her power this time either, no clever trick of electricity. It’s just pure energy coursing through him, and Leslie wishes she felt something other than bored as she watches him squirm at her feet. At least this time her bad deed for the day is doing the world a favor.

‘Sorry for the mess’ she chars onto the wall before taking off into the electrical current and leaving his body behind. Honestly, she’s probably just gotten Supergirl back on her case for real, but at least this time she won’t have to deal with that loser for the showdown.

Next time it’ll be just girls, just the way Leslie likes it.


	5. Alex Danvers, in the Field, With Friendly Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alex is really beginning to regret pushing Kara at the Daxamite. She'd thought he could change, but apparently some things really are impossible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alex was really hard to write and figure out a believable motivation for. So hopefully this comes across as in character for her.

A half glare covered Alex’s face as she watched her sister and her new boyfriend in the DEO. She was really beginning to regret pushing Kara towards the man, though at the time she’d thought it could be for the best. He was from her solar system if not her planet after all, and shared memories of the same sun in the sky. He knew Kryptonian better than anyone at the DEO, and he was likely to age as slowly as Kara will. If Alex could manage to beat some sense into him before Kara had to, then he could have been a great match for her younger sister. Not worthy of her, Alex wasn’t sure any man would ever claim that distinction, but at least someone Kara could be happy with.   


Unfortunately, the beating sense into him doesn’t seem to be working.   


Oh, he’d improved some, Alex had to admit. He had an actual job now even if he didn’t seem to take it seriously. And he’d learned to control his abilities well enough to help Kara out during some of her battles. She does have to admit that much.   


But at times like this, when he’s yelling at Kara, calling her selfish and self-absorbed, Alex realizes he hasn’t really changed at all. Surface level improvements had hidden deeper flaws, and Alex is ashamed she hadn’t noticed them before she’d pushed Kara at the man. Now they’re together, and Kara has taken on changing him as a personal duty. And Alex should have known better.   


Getting Kara away from him won’t be easy, much as Alex wishes it would be. There’s just been too much change in her sister’s life lately, and Alex recognizes the signs. It had happened several times when they were children, and Kara is officially in the stage where she clings to everything familiar to avoid dealing with the other losses and changes in her life. Mon-El, unfortunately, is one of those constants. When Kara focuses on him and the attraction Alex knows she feels, there’s a set and definite goal in front of her. And Kara will focus on that goal to the exclusion of all else, not even noticing how unhealthy it is for her.   


And that’s all Alex’s fault. She would have thought that being a lesbian meant not falling for a man’s pretty face, but she’d been as blinded by the need to see Kara happy as her sister is by looks and possibilities, and now Kara is paying the price.   
And as much as Alex wishes she could sit down with Kara and convince her to drop him, that he isn’t worth her time or even a rusty pipe, she can’t do that. Not without pushing Kara away.   


So instead, Alex starts thinking of other ways to break them up. Maybe she can send him back into space for something, or to another continent. Maybe Greenland, she’s sure Greenland could use a superhero.    


In the end though, Alex knows none of her half formed plans will work. She’s done her work too well, and if she did send Mon-El off to space or Greenland, Kara would just follow. She can’t watch someone walk away so soon after Clark and Cat had both left, and Alex can’t ask her to. The Danvers sisters work better in the same city where they can depend on each other, but Alex can’t push again, not when the current situation is on her.   


Which just leaves the darker thoughts. Death is pretty permanent, and the only foolproof solution to getting rid of Mon-El for good. It’s also the only real and permanent change Alex thinks he’s capable of at this point.   


It’s not until she finds herself considering the samples of the Medusa virus they’d collected that Alex realizes she’s been listing ways to kill him in her head for weeks. And not entirely in passing, either. Only the thought of Kara’s disappointment is keeping her from going through with the various things she dreams up. She’s already been responsible for betraying Kara’s trust in her once before, she can’t bring herself to do it again.   


So she keeps herself content with glares, with pointed comments, with reaching out to Kara often enough that her sister still has a solid support base in her, since she isn’t getting it from her boyfriend. If she can’t get through to Mon-El and get him to realize how much of an ass he’s being, then at least she can help Kara have a calm place to rest when she isn’t with him. It’s not enough, but it’s all she can do for now.   


And then comes the battle to save National City, one of the far too frequent fights that puts Kara and the entirety of the DEO in danger. They’ve gotten used to the larger pitched battles since Kara came out and her enemies did as well, but Alex still hates dragging the city into this. If only the enemy forces would give them a choice in the matter.   


Alex ends up pinned down with a few other agents when Kara gets distracted with one of the aliens, leaving the other to spray fire over the human’s heads as they hunker behind debris in an attempt to shield themselves.   


And then suddenly Mon-El is there, hitting the alien as hard as he can, and Alex can breathe. A quick glance at her agents reveals nothing more serious than a few minor burns, so with a quick command she has them lining up on the threat, ready to fire if they get a clear shot. The bullets don’t seem to do much individually, but under a concerted burst from multiple weapons they’re hoping it at least hurts him long enough to end the fight and get him into custody.   


They get their chance when Mon-El is thrown through a wall, and Alex gives the order to fire without hesitation. They might not get another opportunity like this.   


Later she’s never sure if she saw him in time or not, but just as the agents open fire Mon-El comes speeding out of the building he’d landed in, right into their lane of fire. And since lead bullets are heavier and therefore more effective than regular human bullets, they knock into him with deadly force, Alex’s included.    


Alex freezes for a long moment as he falls, replaying the past moments in her head as she tries to decide whether she’d hesitated to call a cease fire until the point was moot. She isn’t sure, and that fact makes her feel guilty for a moment, at least until she realizes the alien is still up, still coming at them. She can deal with whether she’d let her own feelings get the better of her later, right now her team is depending on her.   


Once the enemies are safely in DEO hands, Alex finds a quiet corner to think, knowing she’ll need to comfort Kara before too long and unwilling to face her without knowing.   


She couldn’t have known, she soon realizes. Mon-El was just too fast, there wasn’t time to even open her mouth, let alone get coherent words out with enough time for her team to register. It wasn’t her fault.   


She also knows that in another situation, another battle, she might have hesitated. She might have pulled the trigger deliberately. If not for Astra, she might have already done it.

So no, Alex isn’t innocent. But this time, this time she can pretend she is.   


Let Kara have her grief, let this go down as a friendly fire mistake. Alex will deal with the knowledge that there’s a darkness in her, one that so easily could have come out. She hadn’t let it, and that’s what matters for Kara right now.   


For herself, well, she’ll figure that out later.   
  



	6. Eliza Danvers, in the DEO, with the Medusa Virus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eliza had been prepared to like him. But Kara has been her daughter for thirteen years, and sometimes a mother just can't sit back and watch a child be hurt.

Eliza is prepared to like him, at first. He seems charming enough, clueless about Earth in a way that reminds her of Kara when she’d first landed. And if he has the same powers Kara does, or even some of them, then maybe her little girl can have someone who understands in her life. He won’t be good enough for Kara, of course, but then Eliza doesn’t think anyone  _ could _ possibly be good enough for her. For all that she’s tried to be more honestly critical of Kara’s flaws, Eliza doesn’t see how anyone could possibly measure up to the brightness that is Kara.

But he is charming enough, not unattractive, and even with Kara’s denials Eliza thinks there may be sparks between them. She knows he’s definitely interested at least. She can’t quite tell from Kara, but then she never has been able to see when she was interested in someone. It’s why she’d come down so hard on Alex about Kara’s dating, figuring that a sister might know more than a foster mother. If she can’t look after Kara herself, then she has to do it through Alex.

But she’s trying to avoid that now, knowing the strain it puts on her daughter. This Thanksgiving seems to be going better than last year’s, but Alex is still a few steps beyond tipsy and Eliza knows it has something to do with her presence. So instead she just watches Kara and Mon-El, seeing how they react to each other, filing away the little details for later.

She isn’t entirely happy with what she sees, but that could just be her protective parenting instincts acting up. And Earth is a major culture difference for Mon-El, if the things she remembers from Clark are true. Maybe he’s still struggling to fit in.

But when he’s exposed to the virus, when he’s put into quarantine and suddenly the DEO agents are discussing how to save him, the stories Eliza hears aren’t that reassuring. He certainly doesn’t sound like the kind of person Kara should be interested in, culture differences or not. Sleeping around, sexist comments, flirting with every female agent and more than a few of the men at inappropriate and serious times? None of it paints a picture a mother wants to see for her child.

Maybe she’d been a little impulsive in telling Kara that Mon-El had an interest in her. Maybe she should have warned her off instead. But now she’s done the opposite, and once Kara gets an idea in her head there’s no dislodging it no matter how hard you try. Even if she isn’t fully set on it, the seeds are still there and Eliza knows it’s only a matter of time before they sprout. Especially with the added impetus of him being sick and possibly dying. 

Eliza is almost thankful when there’s nothing they can do, much as it pains the doctor in her to realize. Maybe it’s for the best, after all. Maybe letting him go now, relatively peacefully, is best for everyone involved.

It’s a cold thought, one that Eliza hates herself for having. As a doctor she’s poured her life into research that saves people, and even the thought that someone might be better off unsaved goes against all of that. And if he were just another person, then she probably would be fighting with her whole heart to save him. But he’s not just another person, he’s the man that might hurt Kara, and that means Eliza is conflicted.

Kara has suffered through so much, lost so much, that Eliza can’t bear to see her hurt any more. She just doesn’t deserve it. And in a case like this, where any decision is the wrong one, then Eliza will make the one that causes her the least amount of pain.

It seems like a moot point anyway, the virus is too far beyond anything they can counteract. There’s nothing Eliza can do other than be there for Kara as she deals with losing him. At least it’s too soon for the loss to be personal. It still hurts, but there’s cold comfort in the timing.

Then Lena Luthor neutralizes the virus, and suddenly the moot point becomes a serious ethical dilemma. The reaction to the isotope is the breakthrough they needed, so unanticipated and able to jumpstart all of the research. They’d known the virus needed it to be deadly, but they hadn’t anticipated that exposure to a neutralized version would actually alter the cellular structure completely.

With the breakthrough comes the possibility for a cure, but Eliza hesitates when she returns to the lab. Mon-El is the only one still at risk, meaning this decision comes down to his life against Kara’s happiness. And as a doctor, a scientist, Eliza knows what her decision should be.

But she’s also a mother, one who has failed both of her children before. And she has no interest in doing so again. So instead of working on the cure, she focuses first on saving J’onn from the White Martian virus. He’s become a father figure to both her girls, and saving him is something she feels no conflict over.

And if it’s too late to save Mon-El by the time she finishes saving J’onn? Well, she thinks it might be for the best after all.


	7. Maggie Sawyer, in the DEO, with What we All Wish We Could Do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes you have to take drastic measures to get someone to shut up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is 100% pure catharsis after that episode. Ridiculous crack with no character development and written entirely because I am so frustrated with what the writers keep doing to us. And yet, it's crack with feelings.
> 
> Maggie might have another that's more serious and in keeping with her character! But here we go for now.

The DEO falls silent when he finishes speaking. Half the agents are looking at J’onn for orders and the other half are backing away from Alex as quickly as they can.

“I’m just saying, if we hadn’t given him access then this would never have happened,” Mon-El tries again, seeming oblivious to the reactions of the agents around him. “We should never have trusted him, Cadmus used us to get to every alien in the country.”

“That’s enough, Mon-El,” J’onn tries, voice clipped and angry in a way that has the agents who’d been looking for orders joining the others in backing away. “You’ve made it very clear where you stand. It’s no longer productive to continue harping on about it.”

Maggie hopes that’s enough to keep him quiet, but from the way he’s acted since he landed, she doesn’t think it’s very likely. So she’s already at Alex’s side, comforting hand on her girlfriend’s arm. The fact that it’s her gun arm and Maggie’s grip keeps her from going for the weapon is just a bonus.

“Productive would have been avoiding this mess in the first place! If you had just listened, if you hadn’t been so blinded by the fact that he was a good man  _ fifteen years ago _ , then we wouldn’t be in this situation!” Of course he doesn’t listen to J’onn, and Maggie is very quickly getting very tired of his shit.

“If you cannot contribute to the current situation in a meaningful manner, without holding us back with what are now pointless observations, then you’re welcome to leave,” J’onn says, pure ice. And just like that, there are no remaining agents in the room. They’ve all found somewhere else they need to be. It’s only Mon-El, J’onn, Alex, Kara, Winn, and Maggie left in the room.

Kara has moved to Alex’s other side, hand carefully on her sister’s shoulder as she stares sadly at the man who claims to care for her. It’s a look of loss and disbelief, and Maggie breathes a sigh of relief that apparently Kara is finally realizing what an ass he is. Too late to avoid being hurt, but at least it’s something.

“There’s no way in hell I’m leaving. Apparently no one here can be trusted to bring him in.” He’s looking at Alex when he says that, and something in Maggie breaks.

She remembers how broken Alex had been that night, how she’d sobbed for hours before finally managing to choke out the complete story. How exhausted she’d been even after waking up, how much pain she’d been in from watching her father walk away, knowing it was all she could do unless she wanted to kill him. How guilty she’d felt that she’d put her own emotions before what any other DEO agent would likely have done.

How dare he speak of Alex’s struggle as if she’d done something wrong, how dare he bring up what was one of the hardest nights of Alex’s life. She’d had her father back for a day, and then lost him to the same evil that had tried to take everything from her before. And this time, she’d had to watch him walk away willingly.

She doesn’t even think before drawing her weapon, thankful that with the increase in alien populations and offenders the science police carry lead laced rounds designed to be more effective against beings that need more stopping power than the average human.

And she doesn’t think before aiming, or pulling the trigger either.

It’s not until she realizes the others are staring at her that Maggie realizes what she’s done. But the expected guilt isn’t there. She’s more worried about explaining a firearm discharge to her sergeant than anything else.

“Detective Sawyer, do you mind explaining what your thought process was?” J’onn says, far more calmly than Maggie would have expected him to be.

“I um, I thought I saw a bee,” Maggie says, settling on the first thing that pops into her mind.

“A bee?” Kara says, not looking devastated as Maggie would have thought. She just looks relieved.

“I’m allergic, deathly afraid of them,” Maggie continues lying, deciding to run with the leniency as long as they let her.

“Well, in the future we’ll keep an epipen on the premises,” J’onn says, walking over to where Winn sits looking traumatized. “We can’t have you taking out agents every time a bug slips past our defenses, after all.”

“I’ll make sure I carry one on me,” Maggie promises. “In fact, I think I have one in the bag on my bike. I could go grab it, just to be safe?”

“Take Alex with you, in case you run into trouble on the way. She’s a trained medic, she’ll be able to help if you run into any more bees before you reach your bike.” Maggie isn’t sure, but she thinks J’onn winks at her before turning to talk to Winn about organizing a cleanup crew to remove Mon-El’s body.

And if he did, Maggie isn’t going to question it. Instead she follows Alex down a hallway to where they can have a little privacy, not surprised when her girlfriend pulls her into a briefing room. 

“A bee? That’s the best you could come up with?” Alex asks, looking amused. And if Maggie didn’t know better, she wouldn’t see the pain still lurking beneath the surface. The bastard really had done a number on her before Maggie shut him up.

“Hey, it worked didn’t it?” Maggie says, pulling Alex close and tilting her head to make eye contact. “You okay, Danvers?”

“Better now,” Alex says softly, leaning down to rest her forehead against Maggie’s. “But I’ll be even better when we can get my father back.”

“Well then, let’s go work on that,” Maggie says, already knowing she’ll do whatever she needs to make it happen.


	8. Pam from HR, in the DEO, with Paperwork

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's not her fault that Mon-El's behavior means extra paperwork.

Pam didn’t like him.

She hadn’t from the beginning, but she’s a professional. Just like the agents above are specialists in their field, Pam is a specialist in hers. She does the jobs she’s assigned, handles the paperwork, and always keeps a straight and friendly face. She knows everything and tells nothing, and never lets her emotions get in the way of making sure things are done properly.

There have been many times over the years that she’s struggled to maintain that detachment, of course. Between the rogue missions Agent Danvers seems so fond of lately and the ongoing bet (that she officially knows nothing about) over who can tell the worst cover lie to their family for late night guard duty, there’s plenty she’d like to give the agents an earful over.

But she’s a professional.

Her displeasure is felt, of course. But she keeps it to a reasonable level. Forms that usually require duplicates suddenly require triplicates, for her backup filing system. She schedules mandatory discretion trainings for the agents who make her life the hardest, pointed reminders that she isn’t fooled by their excuses when the front desk has to field calls from concerned spouses and back up stories about mutated experiments that require overnight monitoring to see if they show signs of sentience. It’s always within the bounds of professionalism.

And then there’s Mon-El.

He annoys her from the beginning, wildly exuberant as he is. Kara has been down here more than a few times to fill out various forms, but even with the added work Pam has never been able to be even the slightest bit frustrated with her. She’s just so likeable that annoyance never comes. And she’s always apologetic about the slips, never defensive the way most agents get when they have to fill out yet another form. Really, any time she visits is usually the highlight of Pam’s day.

Unfortunately this visit comes with the worst of the worst trailing behind her, an entitled ass of a man that reminds Pam of her first boyfriend. It had taken her entirely too long to figure out he needed kicked to the curb, and seeing Kara with another of his type brings an almost physical pain. The girl definitely deserves better.

They’re halfway through the list of forms Pam has for them when an emergency call comes through the intercom, and Kara immediately snaps into action. A quick spin has her civilian clothes shed and neatly folded on one of Pam’s tables and with a nod of thanks she’s out the door. It isn’t the first time she’s been called away from the office and it won’t be the last, but after the first time when she’d just left clothing lying around Pam had lectured her for an hour about clutter in her office, and now Kara always takes the extra millisecond to fold them.

“Uh, should I be going with her?” Mon-El asks as he points over his shoulder towards the door, and Pam stifles a sigh. He’s definitely not good enough for Kara, anyone who was would have been out of his own chair and heading after her as soon as she’d moved.

“No, I’m sure she can handle it,” Pam says reassuringly, reaching into her files for another stack of papers. With Kara gone, she can at least make him fill out extras as a punishment. She wouldn’t do it to Kara, the girl doesn’t need any more inconvenience in her life, but she’ll happily do it to him. “Why don’t you just work on filling these out while she’s busy, save some time?”

He nods slowly as he takes the papers, and Pam tries not to roll her eyes. She’s a professional, damnit. She can behave long enough to get him out of her office. Just a few extra forms, including a few that have nothing to do with the reason he’s actually here but that he should fill out anyway, and that’ll be it. She’ll be rid of him, at least until he screws up badly enough to end up back in her office. She hopes he takes a while, and not just because it means no one else is dealing with his mistakes.

Somewhere around the second copy of the fifth form she hands him, she notices a pained look on his face. Maybe he’s getting tired of filling out form after form. But he doesn’t complain, and Pam turns back to her own work after handing him another stack to complete. It’s not as if she can offer him a Tylenol for a headache after all, even if she was willing to help him out even the slightest bit. He can tough it out.

It’s not until she hears a thud and looks up to see him sprawled on the floor that Pam realizes it must have been more serious than just a headache. A quick call to the medics has a team on the way, but Pam has worked for the DEO long enough to know when it’s too late.

Still, they’re going to try everything they can, and before too long the team and Mon-El are out the door and heading upstairs. Watching them leave, Pam wonders if anyone will ever think to tell her what happened.

It takes a week, but eventually Kara comes to seek her out.

“He overworked his brain,” Kara says with a shrug, not looking as upset as Pam would have imagined. Then again, she’s had a week to recover and realize that he really wasn’t the best fit for her. And she’s always been a smart girl.

“Really?” Pam asks, not sure how exactly that would work.

“He had to think too hard, and it looks like sections of his brain just...shut down,” Kara explains.

“Well, I’m glad that isn’t a common issue with our agents,” Pam says as she thinks about it, not sure what else there is to say.

Thankfully Kara laughs, and that’s the end of it. At least until the paperwork for his death lands on her desk.

Even dead, the man is a nuisance.

**Author's Note:**

> There will be one of these for every lady of Supergirl! Some are short and mostly crack, some are longer and deal with serious emotions. Some are crack that deal with serious emotions. The question is, all one work, or in a series? I leave it up to the readers.


End file.
